


Why 'Potions for Pleasure' went missing from Hogwarts library

by Woldy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Bickering, Boarding School, Flirting, M/M, Porn With Plot, Resolved Sexual Tension, Teaching, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000, Workplace Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-08
Updated: 2011-01-08
Packaged: 2017-10-14 18:46:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woldy/pseuds/Woldy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dumbledore is infuriating, Longbottom is incompetent, and both Snape and Lupin are unprofessional — especially when drunk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why 'Potions for Pleasure' went missing from Hogwarts library

**Author's Note:**

  * For [westernredcedar](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=westernredcedar).



> Written for [](http://westernredcedar.livejournal.com/profile)[**westernredcedar**](http://westernredcedar.livejournal.com/) who requested a POA-era Snupin story, for Snupin Santa 2010. Many thanks to [](http://kellychambliss.livejournal.com/profile)[**kellychambliss**](http://kellychambliss.livejournal.com/) for betaing. All remaining mistakes are of course my own.

Albus Dumbledore had many eccentricities, and in Severus' opinion, one of the most annoying was his refusal to reveal the identity of new teachers until the first day of term. After the disasters occasioned by the Defence Against the Dark Arts instructors during the previous two years, Severus suspected that Dumbledore's intention was to prevent the staff or parents staging a revolt against the incompetents he had appointed. Since even the usually good-tempered Professor Flitwick had threatened to resign if Lockhart returned, the Headmaster had good cause for concern.

Usually new teachers arrived a day early so they could settle in before the onslaught of students. This year, Severus' usual tactic of lingering in the staff room until the new teacher arrived had produced no results, save for Dumbledore's bland announcement that "my appointee for the Defence Against the Dark Arts post will be arriving on the Hogwarts Express".

"Why is he doing that?" Pomona had asked. "What's wrong with the Floo?"

The unspoken sentiment _why would anyone want to spend_ more _time with the children?_ hung over the staffroom.

"I daresay he has his reasons," Dumbledore had replied airily, and refused to answer any further questions on the subject.

As a result, the teachers were reduced to an undignified hovering outside the doors of the school waiting the first glimpse of their new colleague. As the steam from the Hogwarts Express dissipated, they craned their necks for the first sight of the boats and carriages.

"We know he's a he, anyway," said Pomona. "I've always said women were too sensible to want that job."

"A complete lack of sense has certainly been the theme amongst applicants in recent years," Filius said, in his squeaky little voice.

"Well, you needn't fear Gilderoy's reappearance. Poppy tells me that he's still safely ensconced in St Mungo's."

The first carriages became visible in the fading light, and there was a sudden quiet as everyone squinted at them. The professors heard children's voices, and Severus angled his head in the hope of glimpsing the new teacher through a window.

"Does he really have to be so mysterious?" Pomona said crossly, standing on tiptoe in the effort to get a better view.

"He wouldn't be Albus if he weren't," Minerva said, with a sigh.

The thestrals drew to a halt in front of them, and then the children spilled out of the carriages. Figures of every size were staggering under the weight of their trunks, and Severus scanned the crowd for any sign of a teacher.

He saw Draco Malfoy, and behind him Vincent Crabbe dragging two sets of luggage — typical Malfoy. The detestable Potter and Weasley clambered out of a nearby carriage, and Malfoy turned on them with a look of glee.

"You _fainted,_ Potter? Is Longbottom telling the truth? You actually _fainted_?"

"Oh, they're at it again," Pomona said, under her breath. Severus heard Minerva snort with amusement beside him.

Then a taller figure descended from a carriage behind the smirking Malfoy.

"Is there a problem?" The man asked, and there was no mistaking that tone — _this_ was their new teacher.

In the dim light, Severus could only make out the silhouette of an average-height slender man. Where Quirrell had worn that absurd turban and Lockhart primped and preened over his blonde locks, this man's hair was short. From a distance the new teacher looked thoroughly ordinary — perhaps a little better than ordinary, judging by that trim figure — and Severus breathed a sigh of relief.

The next moment, the man stepped into the light, and Severus recognised the face of _Remus bloody Lupin_.

"Thank Merlin," Flitwick muttered, beside him.

"He doesn't look like a lunatic," Pomona said, sounding pleasantly surprised. "Although it can be hard to tell. Well, we'd better get out the way."

The teachers retreated before the approaching crowd of students, but for an instant Lupin glanced up and caught Severus' eye. Lupin tipped his head in acknowledgement, and Severus scowled at him, before turning to enter the castle.

As the students bustled to their Common Rooms to deposit their luggage, Severus positioned himself on a staircase to oversee the inevitable scuffles and hexes. Slytherin students greeted him as they passed, but Severus heard snippets of other conversations: "—never felt so cold," "It's for security, I think," "Azkaban must be terrible—" "If that new teacher hadn't been there...".

"Have you heard, Professor?" said a familiar voice, and Severus turned to see Draco Malfoy.

Malfoy had grown a little over the holiday, but the boy's diminutive form was still absurdly at odds with his sneer and imperious tone. Lucius might have arrogance seeping from every pore, but at least he had the height to carry it off.

"Dementors searched the train," Malfoy said. "It's an outrage! I'll be writing to father about it, and I'm sure he'll complain to the Minister."

"Quite," Severus said, having learned long ago to stay out of the affairs of the Malfoys.

"The only bright spot," Malfoy continued, eyes gleaming with malice. "Was that Potter _fainted_ and had to be coddled by the new teacher. The man dresses like a tramp, so no wonder he liked Potter and Weasley."

"That is interesting," Severus said, letting his lips curl a little.

"I knew you'd enjoy that, Professor," Malfoy said with a smirk, and rejoined the flow of students heading for the dungeons.

So Lupin _dressed like a tramp_ did he? Did the man really know so little about maintaining authority of a classroom that he couldn't pick appropriate attire? Or had Lupin fallen on hard times, once his friends were all dead or imprisoned? Given the appetite for gossip amongst the staff, no doubt he would know the answers before long.

Minerva took her place in the entrance hall, waiting to greet the first year students, and Severus realised that dinner was about to start. He hurried to his place at the teachers' table, took his customary seat between Professor Vector and the empty chair that would shortly be occupied by Minerva, and saw Lupin sit down at the far end of the table.

Severus breathed a sigh of relief that he wouldn't have to speak to Lupin, but once again his relief proved premature. Tonight, geographical distance from Lupin was insufficient to escape him, because the staff table was buzzing with talk about the Dementors on the train.

"Apparently Professor Lupin had a supply of chocolate ready for them. Sounds like he might actually be competent," Septima said sotto voce, as the sorting began.

"I beg to differ," Severus said coolly, and Septima shot an amused glance at him.

"I'm not saying you wouldn't be better at the job—"

"That's beside the point," Severus retorted. "Lupin will be a liability."

Dumbledore gave them a pointed look over his half-moon spectacles, and Severus glared back at him and subsided into silence.

At the far end of the table Lupin sat quietly, showing every sign of being interested in the sorting. When Dumbledore introduced him to the school, Lupin smiled at the students — a gesture that would have been sufficient to ensure Severus' dislike of him, even if their history had not already guaranteed an attitude of mutual loathing.

As dinner drew to a close, murmurings came down the table about gathering in the staffroom afterwards.

"Gives us a chance to quiz Lupin before he's let loose on the students," Septima said, approvingly. "I'll drop by. What about you, Severus?"

The only thing less appealing than a conversation with Lupin was being forced to talk to him while the other teachers looked on, whispering. Severus knew he would have to speak with Lupin eventually, but was determined to delay that moment as long as possible.

"I have better things to do," Severus said.

"Aren't you curious?"

"Severus and Professor Lupin were at school together," Minerva put in. "Their relations were..."

"Non-existent," said Severus.

"Cool," Minerva finished. "I dare say he's changed in the past two decades, Severus. You might find him pleasant company."

"I think not."

Minerva and Professor Vector exchanged a look, and Severus cursed them silently. The appetite for gossip amongst the teachers put Rita Skeeter's powers of rampant speculation to shame.

"Desist from whatever hideous schemes you are devising," Severus ordered, narrowing his eyes.

"I've no idea what you're talking about," Septima said, feigning innocence. "We're just going for a friendly chat with Lupin in the staff room, isn't that right, Minerva?"

"Perhaps you'll change your mind about him over time, Severus" Minerva said, quirking an eyebrow at him.

"When crups fly," Severus retorted.

"My NEWT students should be capable of transfiguring a flying crup by the end of the month," Minerva said, with a triumphant gleam in her eye. "I'll notify you, shall I?"

Winning an argument with Minerva McGonagall was a challenge at the best of times, and Severus didn't have the energy for it now. He made his excuses, retreated to his rooms, and tried to put all thoughts of Gryffindors out of his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Classes during the first week of term were always a disaster. Inevitably, the students forgot what little they had learned over the summer holidays, so Severus spent all of Monday extinguishing fires, containing explosions, and vanishing cauldrons of noxious sludge.

On Tuesday, the Weasley twins 'accidentally' fired an explosion spell into a cauldron filled with Hair Removing Potion, and only Severus' quick reactions saved him from comprehensive depilation. Escorting a dozen bald, tearful students to the infirmary and then spending his evening brewing additional supplies of Hair Restoration Draught was the climax of a thoroughly wretched day.

Severus' classes on Wednesday included all of the first year students, and by the end of the day he was sorely of a soak in the bath and a large glass of scotch. Instead, he had to sit through a staff meeting.

By long precedent, staff meetings took place on Wednesday evenings and were followed by drinks at the Three Broomsticks. In Severus' opinion, sedating oneself was the only way to survive life in school full of obnoxious, unruly children, and therefore drinking was a wholly rational use for a Wednesday night.

According to Minerva, however, the practice of retiring to the pub after meetings was a compromise reached years ago between Dumbledore and Professor Trelawney. Apparently, Dumbledore had insisted on sobriety during the staff meeting, while Trelawney had been determined as little time sober as possible, and could only be convinced to refrain from drinking before the meeting if ample alcohol was supplied afterwards. Severus was fairly sure Minerva shared his opinion that the institution of the teachers' pub night was Trelawney's only positive contribution to the school.

Now that Dementors were searching everyone in the vicinity of Hogwarts, it wasn't hard to see what would occupy this week's meeting. Poppy Pomfrey had already lodged an objection to the Dementors' presence, but their search of the Hogwarts Express would doubtless provoke objections from other staff. Today's staff meeting was likely to be even longer and more tedious than usual.

The meeting was due to begin after dinner, and Severus lingered over dessert in order to defer it. As the other teachers and the students trickled away, Severus sipped his drink, took small bites of his crème brulée, and savoured the momentary peace. He should have known it was too good to last.

"Coming to the meeting?" Lupin asked, from behind his chair.

Severus' head whipped round, and he fixed Lupin with a glacial stare. If looks could kill, then Lupin would be a dead werewolf.

Lupin seemed unperturbed by the glare. He smiled at Severus, said "I'll save you a seat," in a tone Severus had never heard before outside the bedroom, and left while Severus was still choking on his mouthful of dessert.

Severus glanced around quickly, but the few students remaining in the Great Hall seemed not to have noticed the exchange.

Was Lupin _flirting_ with him? It seemed preposterous, but Severus struggled to find another interpretation for Lupin's remark. Severus couldn't remember Lupin having any romantic relationships during their schooldays, but now his behaviour was positively _indecent_.

When Severus arrived at the staff common room, his fears were realised — the only remaining seat was beside Lupin. At the sound of the door opening, Lupin glanced over, smiled at him, and gestured at the empty chair.

"Ah, Severus," Dumbledore said genially. "Now we can get started. What was it we were discussing?"

Minerva slid a copy of the agenda across the table, and Severus glared at the assembled teachers. If any of them were true friends, then they wouldn't have left him stuck next to Lupin.

"Aren't you going to sit down, Severus?" Pomona asked innocently, and he saw Minerva's lips press together to suppress a smile.

Evidently he would be made to suffer for their general amusement. This school was intolerable.

Severus took his seat beside Lupin and thought darkly about the vengeance he could wreak upon them all by poisoning the staff room's supply of tea and biscuits.

The meeting was just as tedious as he feared, but Lupin's presence would have made it difficult for Severus to concentrate even if he was trying. They clearly needed a larger table in the staff room, because Lupin kept touching him — their knees brushed repeatedly, and Lupin's elbow nudged Severus' arm. Worst of all was when Lupin touched Severus' wrist while reaching for his notepad, because the warm press of Lupin's fingers made Severus' skin tingle.

"Sorry," Lupin murmured, not sounding remotely sorry.

Severus stared straight ahead, doing his best to ignore Lupin and whatever ridiculous reactions his body made to Lupin's presence.

After what seemed like an interminable wait, the meeting finished and the staff began summoning their cloaks and coats. Severus sprung from his chair, intent on putting as much distance between himself and Lupin as possible.

"Looking forward to your scotch, Severus?" Dumbledore asked, and Severus turned to face him.

The scheming old bastard knew how Severus felt about Lupin, and he must have foreseen the tensions his new appointment would cause. Either Dumbledore didn't care less how Severus felt, or he took some kind of perverse pleasure in appointing the most incompetent Defence teachers imaginable in order to taunt him.

"Given recent decisions, a drink is the least you owe me," Severus told him.

"That's the spirit. I'm sure you'll soon get along like a bubbling potion," said Dumbledore, giving him a bland smile.

The metaphor was more apt than anyone present except himself and Dumbledore probably realised, because potions bubbled enthusiastically before they exploded.

Severus managed to avoid Lupin during the walk to Hogsmeade, and once inside the Three Broomsticks he made judicious use of his elbows in the usual scuffle for seats close to the fire and as far as possible from Professor Trelawney. He ended up beside Pomona and Minerva, with Septima and Lupin sitting opposite. Filius glared at them from the neighbouring table where he was stuck with Professor Trelawney, and Hagrid.

"In any battle there are a few sacrifices," Pomona said cheerfully, turning her back on Filius' plight. "Who's buying the drinks?"

"I will," Lupin volunteered, and there was a second's pause as everyone considered Lupin's worn robes and the patches on his cloak.

"That would be very kind, Remus, but we never allow new staff to buy the first round," Minerva said briskly, getting to her feet. "What would you like?"

While Minerva was ordering the drinks, Pomona seemed to feel that it was incumbent upon her to make conversation with Lupin — or, as Severus suspected, to pry.

"I hope your rooms are all right," Pomona said, and Lupin looked a little startled by this opener. "When I first arrived, mine had the most hideous orange curtains. I don't know where the house elves got their ideas about decorating..."

The first round of drinks went quickly as they discussed the teachers quarters, and then Severus found himself drawn into an argument with Minerva about Slytherin's chances for the Quidditch cup. Before he knew it, Severus was finishing his fourth glass of whisky.

Minerva's face was flushed as she explained her preferred Chaser formation, and when Severus glanced around the table, he noticed that all the teachers looked tipsy. Pomona was explaining her plans for Greenhouse Seven to a glazed-looking Lupin with great enthusiasm and accompanying hand gestures, while Septima was leaning at an odd angle.

"Think I'd better head off," Septima said, taking a final swig of her drink. "I've the NEWT year first thing tomorrow, and they'll catch me out if I'm still drunk."

"Is that the time?" Minerva said, checking her watch. "I'll walk back with you."

"I'm game for another, how about you, Severus?" Pomona said, reaching for her glass.

Minerva gave Pomona a pointed look.

"Oh, yes, er, maybe I'd better have an early night after all," Pomona amended.

Severus looked suspiciously from Pomona to Minerva and saw a twinkle in Minerva's eye.

He focused his gaze on Minerva's face and thought firmly, _I don't know what you're up to, but I don't like it_. Minerva gave no sign that she understood, but she was a sufficiently accomplished Legilimens that Severus knew she was perfectly capable of understanding him if she chose.

"I'll get you another drink, then, shall I, Severus?" Lupin asked, and had moved off towards the bar before Severus had time to contradict him.

"Stop this immediately," Severus hissed.

"I've got no idea what you're talking about," Minerva said, fastening her cloak.

"No clue at all," Septima added, in a voice of such transparently fake innocence that Severus was in no doubt that they had planned this.

As the three of them left the pub, Pomona winked at him. _Meddling old witches,_ he thought.

"Here you go," said Lupin, placing a glass in front of Severus. "I got you a Caol Islay. It's a bit more subtle than the Ardberg, but I think you'll like it."

Lupin's tone was warm, and he looked relaxed. As he retook his seat, he leaned in towards Severus, and Severus caught a whiff of his scent — musky, masculine, and undeniably attractive.

Severus glanced sideways, to where Filius was patiently listening to one of Professor Trelawney's characteristic rants, as Hagrid swayed unsteadily on his magically reinforced stool. This, Severus decided, must have been how Odysseus felt when faced to choose between scylla and charybdis.

Under Lupin's watchful eye, Severus took a sip of his drink, which was indeed pleasant.

He gave a curt nod of approval, and Lupin smiled at him.

"I thought I'd guessed your preferences correctly," Lupin said, and something about the way he said _preferences_ sent a shiver down Severus' spine.

 _Don't be ridiculous_ Severus told himself. _Lupin is a bully, a liar, and not least, a werewolf. I don't find him in the least bit attractive._

"I heard from Poppy that you're working on the development of a new potion," Lupin said.

He spoke quietly, and Severus found himself leaning closer to hear Lupin clearly over the noise of the bar.

"I'd be interested to hear about it," Lupin continued, looking expectantly at him.

Either Lupin was a very accomplished flirt, or he had more interest in potions than Severus had previously credited him with, or both, because Severus found himself explaining the theory behind his new potion while Lupin listened with apparent interest.

"So the nightshade acts as a catalyst?"

"That's my intention, but I have yet to find the temperature at which—"

"I'll be closing in around fifteen minutes," Rosmerta called out. "Drink up, please, gentlemen!"

There was only a sip of scotch left in Severus' glass, and a glance sideways showed him that the drinks in front of Hagrid and Professor Trelawney were almost full. If he wanted to escape their company on the walk back to the castle, then this was an opportune moment.

"I think that's our cue," Lupin said lightly.

Severus lifted his glass and drained it, savouring the burn and peaty flavour. Lupin finished his own drink, and with a flick of his wand the empty glasses floated over the bar.

"Shall we?" Lupin said, and there was no mistaking the invitation in his voice.

Severus wrestled with his conscience for a moment, and then gave in. A little flirting was harmless, and if it was more than flirting, then... Well, it was a long time since he'd been laid, and the consequences be damned.

Severus got to his feet and followed Lupin out of the pub. The night was clear and warm, stars twinkling overhead, and they set out walking towards the castle by the light of a crescent moon.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Lupin said, as they left the village and caught a glimpse of the lake, which glittered with reflected light. "I've missed Hogwarts."

"You get used to it," Severus replied.

Lupin turned to him with a smile. "Are you saying familiarity breeds contempt? That's rather cynical. I'd like to think there can be benefits from knowing something more intimately."

Yes, Lupin was undeniably flirting. If Severus wanted this, he only had to reach out and take it.

"Perhaps," Severus said, stepping closer, "there might be a few benefits."

Lupin was already leaning in when Severus kissed him, tilting his head up to reach Lupin's mouth. Lupin's lips were soft and warm, and they parted eagerly beneath his own. Lupin's tongue dipped into his mouth, a teasing swipe that sent shivers of want through Severus, and he curled his hand around Lupin's neck to pull him closer.

Severus felt Lupin's arm against his back, and then Lupin was pressed against him, lithe and undeniably sexy. He could feel the heat of Lupin's body through the robes, and when Lupin shifted his weight, Severus felt Lupin's cock slide over the hollow of his hip.

"We should go inside," Severus said, pulling away from the kiss and trying to force some sense into his addled brain. "Anyone could walk by. The other teachers..."

"You'd be amazed what people don't notice," Lupin said breathlessly, and kissed him again.

It was hard to concentrate on anything except the feel of Lupin's body moving against him, even before Lupin's hand reached under Severus' robes.

"We must — off the path," Severus gasped, and Lupin paused.

"If it makes you happy," Lupin said, releasing Severus and stepping away.

Lupin walked a few paces into the forest before ducking behind a large oak tree, where he was completely out of sight of the path.

"Private enough?" Lupin asked, and Severus followed the sound of Lupin's voice as he stepped into the wood.

It was almost pitch black under the canopy, and Severus could barely make out Lupin's outline against the trees. Then Lupin kissed him again, mouth hungry and demanding, and Severus found himself pressed back against the tree trunk. He leaned against the bark, and let his hands roam over Lupin's body, sliding over the flat stomach, the curve of Lupin's ribcage, and feeling the heartbeat thunder under his palm.

Lupin moved closer, and Severus only realised that he was hard an instant before registering that he was writhing against Lupin's body to rub their cocks together. Severus felt Lupin smile, and then their cocks aligned, providing perfect, tantalizing friction.

Lupin pulled away from the kiss, dipping his head to Severus' neck, and Severus found himself tilting his head to give better access.

Somehow, everything Lupin did was sexy — the way his weight pinned Severus against the tree, the touch of his lips, and even the way his breath ghosted over Severus' skin. Lupin sucked hotly against his throat, and Severus let out a groan and pushed his hips forward, striving for more sensation, more friction, more _everything_.

Distantly, Severus heard voices, and a moment later he recognised Hagrid's low rumble and Filius' squeaky tone. His colleagues were only metres away, and here he was —

"Sometimes," Lupin breathed, nipping at Severus' earlobe, "the risk of being caught just makes it more fun."

Severus would have protested, but Lupin's hand slid down over his erection and he couldn't find the breath. Lupin stroked him once, slowly, and Severus bit back a moan, thrusting into Lupin's hand.

"Greedy," Lupin said, and his raised his hands to unbutton Severus' robes.

For the first time in his life, Severus wished he'd chosen clothing with fewer buttons. The next moment his robes fell open, and Lupin reached for the button of Severus' trousers. For a second the air was cool against Severus' cock, and then Lupin's warm hand closed around it.

"Oh, yes," Lupin breathed, his hand stroking down Severus' length and then back up, fingers tightening around the head.

Severus let his head fall back against the tree trunk, and rocked his hips into Lupin's hand. For a horrible instant Lupin released his grip, and Severus panicked that this might be some kind of teasing _prank_ , but then Lupin opened his own flies and moved leaned in close again. Severus felt Lupin's cock brush his stomach, then Lupin angled his hips, and his cock rubbed against Severus own, hard and hot. Severus groaned, and grabbed Lupin's arse to pull him closer.

"I've been wanting to see you like this," Lupin said, bending his head to kiss Severus' neck again. His his teeth grazed over Severus pulse point, and the hint of threat made Severus shiver.

"Enough talking," Severus bit out.

"If that's what you want," Lupin said, and wrapped his hand around both of their cocks.

Severus heard Lupin murmur a lubrication charm, and then he was fisting their cocks together. The sensation was almost too much, hot skin sliding and rubbing, and Severus thrust urgently into Lupin's palm. Lupin matched the rhythm of Severus' hips, and Severus' cock was encircled by Lupin's cock and fingers, slick and hard against him. Then Lupin's free hand cupped Severus' balls and he lost any semblance of control. Severus came with a gasp, spurting over Lupin's fingers and stomach.

Lupin's hand stilled. Severus drew in a ragged breath and took in the sight of Lupin: pink lips and damp cheeks, his cock dripping with Severus' own come. He didn't owe Lupin anything, but somehow Severus still found himself reaching for Lupin's cock.

He wrapped his fingers around Lupin's cock, and Lupin's hips pressed forwards to meet him. Lupin tangled one hand in Severus' hair, and leaned against his shoulder, breath loud and uneven. Severus stroked him, taking up the rhythm again, and it only took a few jerks before Lupin shuddered and came over his fingers.

The wood around them was very quiet, and Severus suddenly became aware how incongruous this was. Frotting and groping in the Forbidden Forest was something associated with randy teenagers, not staff who were supposed to know better. There was an unpleasant sensation of stickiness from the drying come on Severus' hand, cock, and stomach, and a wave of revulsion went through him.

Carefully, Severus retrieved his wand from the pocket of his robes, and said " _Tergeo_."

Lupin didn't say anything as Severus re-buttoned his robes, and Severus couldn't read his expression in the dim light.

"We should walk separately," Severus said, tugging his collar into place. "Otherwise people will talk."

"Yes, of course. Goodnight, then," Lupin said quietly.

Severus walked briskly back to his chambers with his wand in hand, trying to suppress the thought of how Lupin's body felt against him. Despite the fire burning in his room, Severus' bed felt strangely cold and empty that night. He punched the pillow into a different shape, rolled over, and told himself not to be ridiculous.

The chimes of his alarm spell woke Severus, and he groped around for his wand for several seconds before silencing it. The sunlight seemed too bright, the alarm had sounded shriller than usual, and Severus' head was beginning to ache. Evidently he had drunk too much last night.

He summoned a glass of water and was midway through drinking it when he remembered what else had happened last night — _Lupin! He'd had sex with Lupin!_ He choked, spat out a mouthful of water, and narrowly avoided dropping the glass.

 _How could he have been so stupid? Lupin was a werewolf, for Merlin's sake! He was naive, untrustworthy, probably still dangerous, and not even particularly attractive._

Severus recalled the way Lupin had kissed him the previous night, his eyes shining and lips pink, and revised that statement. _Fine. Lupin was attractive, but that in no way made him an acceptable person to fuck. It was a ridiculous, shameful mistake on Severus' part, and it wouldn't happen again._

He got out of bed, poured himself a measured dose of hangover remedy from the bathroom cabinet, and swallowed it. The throbbing in his temples eased instantly, but absent the headache Severus' attention was drawn to the large purple bruise on his neck — trust a werewolf to go for the throat.

"Good night, was it?" the mirror said, in a tone that suggested it would leer if it could.

"Shut up," Severus snapped, and stomped out of the bathroom.

He dressed, being careful to choose robes with a high collar that concealed his neck, and took a final glance in the mirror to check there were no further clues about his activities the previous night.

"I suppose my opinion's not wanted," the mirror said petulantly.

"You suppose correctly," Severus told it, and set out for the Great Hall to have breakfast.

When he arrived, Severus found that the staff table was only half full. Dumbledore was his usual infuriating twinkly-eyed self, eating cornflakes and discussing the merits of liquorice allsorts with Pomona and Minerva, but Lupin, Hagrid, Filius, and Professor Trelawney were all missing.

"Morning, Severus," Minerva said, as he took a seat. "Did you have a good night?"

There was no indication from Minerva's face or tone that she guessed anything more than that Severus had drunk too much. Perhaps his secret was safe.

"Tolerable," Severus said, reaching for the toast rack.

"You didn't find Remus' conversation pleasant?" Minerva asked.

"No."

"We all thought he was rather charming," Pomona said, pressing the point. "You know, I think you might get on if you gave him a chance."

"I do not welcome intrusions into my private or professional life," Severus replied coldly.

"It's all in good fun. It would do you good to smile more," Pomona said.

"Pass the coffee," said Severus, pointedly ignoring Pomona's words.

He poured himself a cup of coffee, took a bite of toast, and steeled himself for the inevitability of encountering Lupin — and the almost equally unpleasant task of teaching the Potter brat and his companions.

Severus had almost finished breakfast by the time Lupin appeared. Lupin greeted everyone in the same friendly tone, but his eyes lingered on Severus, and he offered a slight smile. Severus shot Lupin his coldest glare, and then looked immediately away. Luckily, neither Pomona or Minerva seemed to have noticed anything amiss, but Severus saw a tell-tale gleam in Dumbledore's eye and cursed the man to hell.

Despite his best efforts to avoid speaking to Lupin, Severus found himself ambushed in the potions corridor.

"Professor Snape," Lupin called out, and in front of the students Severus had no choice but to turn and face him. "I'd like to speak to you later. Perhaps after dinner?"

"I don't think we have anything to discuss," Severus said coolly.

Lupin hesitated for a moment, and Severus watched the hope fade from his face. Typical Gryffindor — ruled by emotion, not judgement, optimism eternally triumphing over experience.

He left Lupin standing there and strode away towards the dungeons.

Until Severus entered the potions classroom, he had temporarily forgotten which class he was teaching, and then the sight of Potter reminded him. _That class_. If it wasn't for the presence of the Weasley twins, this would take the prize for his least favourite class in the school.

Malfoy was complaining about his arm — an injury Severus knew wasn't serious, because Madam Pomfrey hadn't notified him about it — and provided an excuse for a little entertainment at the expense of the Gryffindors. He ordered Potter and Weasley to cut up Malfoy's ingredients, and as the students worked he patrolled the room in the effort to avert yet more explosions.

As usual, the worst potion belonged to Longbottom, whose brewing technique seemed to consist of adding random ingredients in a random order and then hovering worriedly over the cauldron, prodding it with his wand at intervals.

"Orange, Longbottom," Severus said, ladling a little of the potion to prove his point.

Longbottom quivered, and the expression on his face reminded Severus of Lupin that morning — his hopes might be dashed, but he was mustering courage in the face of adversity. Did it ever occur to Gryffindors to think rationally once in a while? Didn't they realise that logical thinking and preparation eliminated the need for blind, foolish optimism?

"Orange," Severus said, drawing out the word. "Tell me, boy, does anything penetrate that thick skull of yours? Didn't you hear me say, quiet clearly, that only one rat spleen was needed? Didn't I state plainly that a dash of leech juice would suffice? What do I have to do to make you understand, Longbottom?"

The boy was on the verge of tears, and when Severus announced he would feed the potion to Longbottom's toad, he enjoyed the look of horror on the stupid child's face. Most likely Granger would fix the potion, but perhaps — just perhaps — the threat would motivate Longbottom to make some kind of effort in future. Given Longbottom's abysmal performance in every potions class to date, he could hardly get any worse.

Severus was dimly aware that he was taking out his annoyance at Lupin on Gryffindor students, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. In the next class, he docked thirty points each from two second year Gryffindors for passing notes, and criticised one girl's Babbling Beverage so roundly that she burst into tears.

When he arrived at lunch, Severus found Lupin occupying his usual seat. He stopped, eyes narrowed, and Minerva turned in her seat to glare at him.

"Are you trying to set a new record for points docked in a single day, Severus?"

"If Gryffindor students can't perform competently, then perhaps they should study," Severus retorted, and walked over to take a seat beside Filius.

The impertinence of the man! Lupin had been at Hogwarts a mere matter of days, and here he was disrupting the settled behaviour of those who'd been teaching for a decade. Well, Severus wouldn't put up with it. Soon enough, Lupin would learn his place.

Perhaps sensing Severus' mood, Filius made little effort at conversation. He ate quickly, and as he left the hall, Severus heard the friendly chatter between Lupin, Minerva, and Septima. _Traitors,_ Severus thought, and stalked away.

That afternoon, Lupin took his revenge. Severus could only guess at what had happened after he left the staff common room, but he couldn't fail to notice the sudden outbreak of laughter when he entered the great hall for dinner.

"He looked better in your grandmother's hat, Neville," Finnegan said loudly, to peals of laughter.

"Don't forget the handbag!" Brown added, giggling.

Snape gave them his coldest look, and Brown wilted slightly.

"Surely Filius won't be covering cheering charms for weeks?" Septima asked, as Snape took his seat between her and Minerva. "What are they laughing at?"

"Lupin showed them a boggart this afternoon. Evidently, there was a joke at my expense."

"Ah," said Septima, in a tone that contained rather more understanding than Severus was comfortable with. "I'll leave you to sort it out between yourselves. We don't have those kind of problems with Arithmancy."

"The only problem is Lupin," Severus said crossly.

"I'm not taking sides," Minerva told him. "All I ask is that you refrain from hexing one another in front of the students."

Severus turned to glare at Lupin at the far end of the table. Lupin was engaged in a conversation with Hagrid, and either didn't notice Severus or — more likely — was choosing to ignore him.

Severus seethed throughout dinner, waved away the offer of dessert, but instead of leaving the hall, he paced over to where Lupin sat. Severus came to a stop beside Lupin's chair, crossed his arms, and said in a low voice, "Staff room. Now."

"I thought you didn't have anything to say to me, Severus," Lupin replied, without bothering to look round.

"Minerva requests that I don't curse you in public. In deference to her wishes, I repeat: staff room. Now."

"Very well, then," Lupin said calmly, pushing his chair back.

Severus stalked from the hall with Lupin following behind him.

"If this is just about the boggart—" Lupin began, as they walked along the corridor.

"Staff room," Severus snapped, and Lupin subsided into silence.

Severus pushed open the door to the staff room so hard that it bounced off the wall and almost hit Lupin in the face. As the door slammed shut behind him, Severus spun round.

"Although you have been teaching for a mere four days, I am sure you know that mocking a colleague in front of the students is utterly inappropriate and unprofessional."

"Funny, that's how I felt when I heard you'd been bullying Neville Longbottom," Lupin retorted.

"How dare you!" Severus said. "I've been teaching at Hogwarts for over a decade. I know more about disciplining students than you will ever learn—"

"Bullying students isn't the same as teaching them!"

"You should know plenty about bullying, given your history!" Severus shouted.

Lupin opened his mouth, and then shut it again, and took a deep breath. "Evidently we have personal issues to work out," he said, "but we need to leave the students out of it."

"So you invited them to imagine me with a handbag, and—"

"I admit that was juvenile of me," Lupin conceded. "But I won't do anything like that again if you'll stop tormenting the Gryffindors in potions."

Snape examined Lupin through narrowed eyes.

Lupin was right, damn it, about the need for distance between their personal lives and teaching, if not out of principle, then because the alternative was mutually assured destruction. They knew enough secrets about each other that escalating this dispute was simply too dangerous — Severus would win, of course, but at the cost of his dignity. No, they had to agree some kind of truce.

"I reserve the right to criticise Longbottom and his peers in a manner proportionate to their laziness and incompetence," Severus said, finally.

"And if you make any of them cry, I reserve the right to tell everyone about the underpants incident," Lupin replied.

"You wouldn't dare."

"You can gamble on that if you like," said Lupin.

For several tense seconds there was a standoff between them.

"Fine," Severus spat.

"Excellent," Lupin said. "Well, I'm glad we've had this chat. I always thought we could have resolved our differences in a more satisfying manner."

Lupin's meaning was unmistakeable, and for an instant Severus thought back to the previous night.

"If there's something you want to discuss, don't hesitate to speak to me in private," Lupin continued, driving home his point.

As Lupin met Severus' eyes, a slight blush rose on his cheeks, and Severus knew Lupin was thinking about the same thing.

"That won't be necessary," Severus retorted, dragging his mind away from the memory of Lupin's hand around his cock. "I consider this the end of it."

Lupin was watching as Severus left the room, but his expression was hard to read. If Severus was forced to take a guess, he would say Lupin's face was...thoughtful. He wasn't sure he liked the implications of that.

Their truce held over the following week, but it quickly became clear that Severus should have specified additional conditions — namely, that Lupin stop flirting with him. On Friday morning, Lupin took Professor Vector's usual seat beside Severus at the breakfast table and refused to move even after Severus elbowed him covertly in the ribs.

"So you resolved your differences? Does this mean Gryffindor will no longer be haemorrhaging points?" Minerva asked, between mouthfuls of porridge.

"I think our agreement was that Severus can only punish the students in a manner proportionate to their laziness and incompetence," Lupin said equably, and took a sip of coffee. "That was your wording, wasn't it?"

"You got Severus to agree to that? You must have hidden talents in negotiation. The rest of us have been trying to establish similar terms for years."

"Perhaps it's my natural charm," Lupin said, taking a bite of toast.

Lupin's free hand casually slipped beneath the table, and landed on Severus' knee. With a jerk, Severus pulled his leg away, and glared at Lupin.

"Well, whatever you did, I hope it lasts," Minerva said approvingly.

Lupin's unwelcome and inappropriate advances were not confined to meals. He sat entirely too close to Severus on the sofa in the staff room and caused Severus to lose a promising chess game by interrupting midway through.

"That's an interesting strategy, Filius," Lupin had said, placing one hand on the back of Severus' chair as he leant down to inspect the board.

Lupin's thumb swiped over the nape of Severus' neck, gently tracing circles on his skin, and it sent tingles of pleasure all the way down Severus' spine. By the time Lupin had exchanged a few sentences with Filius, Severus' brain had been reduced to mush and his plan of attack was entirely forgotten.

Two days later, Severus found a book and a note from Lupin slipped in amongst the morning post in his office.

The note read, _I saw this and thought of you. Might help with your project? RL_.

Severus crumpled up the parchment and inspected the book, which was entitled _Potions for Pleasure_ and bore the stamp of the restricted section of the library. Whatever project Lupin had in mind for those potions was clearly unrelated to Severus' medical research.

He shoved the book on the stack of unread material on his desk, threw the note in the fire, and made a mental note to discourage Madam Pinch from allowing Lupin to borrow any more potions texts.

The failure of Lupin's efforts seemed to spur him to try a more direct approach, or at least this was Severus' guess as to why Lupin knocked on his door.

"I think we should discuss lesson plans," Lupin said, squeezing past Severus to gain entrance to his quarters.

"What?"

"Dumbledore tells me that you will be covering my classes while I am indisposed," Lupin said, taking a seat without having been invited to do so. "Do you want me to leave you copies of my lesson plans?"

"I am sure I'll manage," Severus said curtly, without moving from where he stood by the door.

"I'll send you copies of my lesson plans, then, and you can decide whether or not you want to follow them. As long as whatever you teach is on the syllabus for that year, I'm sure we'll work it out."

"Is there anything else, Lupin?"

"I had hoped..." Lupin said, giving Severus a lingering look.

"Then your hope was in vain," Severus replied, gesturing to the door. "I have work to do."

"I see," Lupin said, getting to his feet. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Severus opened the door wide for Lupin to leave, but Lupin moved unnecessarily close to him anyway, and his hand brushed against Severus' stomach.

"I hope you'll change your mind," Lupin said quietly, far too close for comfort, and it took a physical effort for Severus to restrain himself from grabbing the man.

"Out," he said instead, and closed the door firmly behind Lupin before he changed his mind.

 _Lupin is a werewolf,_ Severus reminded himself. _A dark creature, and a liar. His closest friends were petty, sadistic bullies, and one is a mass murderer. On top of which, people would know! Jeopardising my professional standing at Hogwarts for the sake of a fleeting hormonal attraction would be the height of foolhardiness._

Severus took several deep breaths, and silently recited all the reasons not to have sex with Lupin until the temptation ebbed away. Evidently he needed to avoid physical proximity to Lupin whenever possible.

Evading Lupin should have been easy given the size of the school and its grounds, but nothing in Severus' life was ever easy. Most dangerous of all was the prospect of drinks in the Three Broomsticks after the staff meeting. The meeting itself was relatively short, and when the teachers rose to get their cloaks Severus tried to make his excuses.

"I have a lot of marking," he told Pomona.

"Nonsense!" Pomona said. "We all have marking, and a couple of drinks won't do any harm. I always think my comments to students are more charitable after a glass of wine."

"And ingredients to prepare for the NEWT class. We were running low on eel livers, so I need to check that—"

"Those were delivered yesterday, I signed for them myself," said Dumbledore, from behind him. "A shame for the eels, but no doubt our NEWTs have greater need. Come on Severus, we're all waiting for you."

Lupin smiled at him, and Severus forgot the next excuse he had lined up. With a sense of foreboding, he reached for his cloak and followed the other teachers towards Hogsmeade.

As they walked through the school grounds, Lupin fell inside beside him.

"I'm glad you decided to come," Lupin said.

 _What a thoroughly inane comment_ concluded the functioning part of Severus' brain, while the rest offered up _what nice eyes he has_. Sometimes, Severus despaired at how easily distracted the human brain was by anything remotely connected to sex. One day, he'd find the time to develop a potion to counteract that.

Severus forced himself to look away from Lupin, and said, "Don't read too much into it."

"I just think it's good to get you know you better," Lupin said. "Since we're going to be working together so _closely_."

Now, they were passing the area where last week Lupin had pinned Severus to a tree and reducing him to a sticky, writhing mess. Severus fixed his eyes on the lights of Hogsmeade ahead, and did his best not to think about it.

Comparatively speaking, things were easier inside the pub because even Lupin refrained from flirting so overtly in front of their colleagues. Severus gulped down his first whisky faster than was wise, hoping the burn would distract him from the recollection of last week's events, and started what should have been a libido-killing discussion about Ministry examination policy.

Unfortunately, Lupin grew more attractive with every sip of alcohol that Severus consumed. No, that wasn't quite right — Lupin was just as attractive when sober, but in that state Severus found it easier to ignore. After his second glass of scotch, Severus found his eyes lingering on Lupin's arse as he walked across the pub to the toilet, and the desire to follow Lupin and molest him there became acute.

"Same again, Severus?" Filius asked.

"I need to go," Severus said, dragging his thoughts away from what one could get up to in a toilet cubicle. "Marking. If I put it off there'll only be more tomorrow."

"We've all been there," Filius said sympathetically.

Severus stood up, bid the others a brief goodnight, and was out of the pub before Lupin had returned to the table. He walked quickly through the village, hoping that the exercise would distract him from thoughts of Lupin.

Unfortunately, his brain contributed unhelpful thoughts like _You fucked against that tree last week,_ followed by _that one would also work,_ and _the lake's too cold, but maybe the Staff Jacuzzi?_ The small part of Severus' brain that remained rational was appalled at the ideas his subconscious conjured up, while the larger part was distracted by the vision of Lupin floating naked in a sea of bubbles.

He made it back to the castle, stomped down the stairs to the dungeons, and collapsed into the chair by the fire. The pile of marking on the desk didn't look in the least bit appealing, but Severus spied the _Potions for Pleasure_ book lying unopened, and for a moment he was tempted.

 _It's too late to brew anything,_ he told himself firmly, and picked up the most recent issue of _The Practical Potioneer_ instead. Severus had almost finished the first article, when there was a rap on his door.

Severus opened the door with a flick of his wand and saw Lupin standing in the doorway.

"I didn't think you were marking," Lupin said quietly, walking inside and closing the door behind him.

"And what made you think you were welcome?"

"Call it intuition," Lupin said, removing his cloak and hanging it by the door. "You know, we never did finish our conversation about lesson plans."

"I have nothing further to say on the subject," Severus said, finding himself drawn to the way the light caught Lupin's lips.

"I didn't get round to telling you how appreciative I am that you're covering my lessons," said Lupin, walking over to where Severus sat. As he dropped to his knees, Lupin said "I'm very grateful."

"This is wholly unprofessional," Severus said breathlessly.

"Rather more professional than taking our sexual frustration out on other people, I'd have thought," Lupin said.

"Why are you so insistent?" asked Severus, almost stumbling over the words as Lupin licked his lips distractingly.

"What do you want to hear?" Lupin said, sliding his hand up the inside of Severus' thigh. "That you've got the sexiest voice in the country? The finest arse north of Edinburgh?"

"Antipathy—" Severus began.

"Doesn't stop us enjoying this," Lupin said, cupping his around Severus' erection.

Severus' fingers tightened around the arm of the chair.

"Besides, I've been wondering how you taste," Lupin murmured, nimble fingers making quick work of Severus' robe and trousers, and then his hand was on Severus' cock.

Severus knew he should be objecting, but somehow he couldn't muster the words. Perhaps it was just as well, because the next moment Lupin bent to suck his cock. There was something very appealing about the sight of Remus Lupin, one of Severus' childhood nemeses, on his knees and offering his mouth to be fucked.

Lupin's mouth was hot and wet, and Severus let out a sigh as Lupin took him deep. He clenched his hands into fists, resisting the temptation to wrap them in Lupin's hair, and Lupin braced one hand on Severus' hip as he established a rhythm.

Merlin's bollocks, it felt _good_. Lupin's mouth felt like everything Severus had been imagining for the past week — slick, urgent and unrestrained. There was nothing teasing or tentative about this — Lupin was sucking him like a man who'd been doing it for years, and he seemed to know precisely what speed and suction Severus needed. Lupin's tongue slid over his cock, circling the glans, and Severus couldn't stifle a groan.

Lupin pulled off his cock for a moment, and asked "Do you want to come?"

"What else would I want?"

"Well, I could draw this out a bit," Lupin said, wrapping his fingers around the base of Severus' cock and tightening them to illustrate his point. "If you like. It's your choice."

Severus looked into Lupin's face, seeing his gleaming eyes and flushed cheeks, and made a mental note to take a look at the _Potions for Pleasure_ book.

"Make me come," he said.

Lupin smiled, and then he lips parted and he took Severus cock back into his mouth. Severus thrust, and felt the warning pressure of Lupin's hand tightening around the base of his cock. _If you want to come,_ Lupin seemed to be saying, _you need to let me do it my way._

Severus slumped back in the chair and surrendered himself to Lupin — to the slick heat of Lupin's mouth around his cock, and to the rhythm Lupin set, which was faster now. The pressure was building in his balls, and Severus half-expected Lupin's fingers to clench around the base of his cock again, but Lupin's mouth never stopped moving, and Severus realised with a jolt that he was going to come in Lupin's mouth, smearing spunk over those pink lips.

The thought was enough to send him over the edge, and Severus' hips jerked as he came with a rush. He felt Lupin swallow, and when Lupin pulled away, there was a smear of come on his cheek. When Severus reached down to swipe away the smear with his thumb, Lupin smiled at him, and caught Severus' thumb between his teeth, sucking it clean.

"That was more fun than arguing, wasn't it?" said Lupin, standing up and stretching out his legs.

"It might lose its appeal over time," Severus said, feeling more content than he had in days. He saw no reason to move from the armchair, even when Lupin perched on the arm.

"It might," Lupin said, "but I have plenty of other ideas. For instance, I've always wanted to be fucked over a potions workbench."

"If you think I have the energy for that now, you've forgotten how old I am."

"Only because you haven't read the book yet," Lupin said.

Severus raised a sceptical eyebrow at him.

"Perhaps on Saturday?" Lupin suggested. "Once you've had a chance to work up steam during another class with Harry and Neville."

"You can't be suggesting there is anything appealing about—"

"I'm suggesting that this is a good way to relax," Lupin said, leaning down so that his lips were barely inches from Severus' own. "And that you have plenty of need for relaxation. If I'm wrong, I can take my offers elsewhere."

Lupin's lips were pink and inviting, and when Severus knew that if he kissed Lupin, he would taste his own orgasm on them.

"I'll consider it," he said, and stretched up to meet Lupin's mouth.


End file.
